A couple of pretty gals from Canada decide to travel to Australia over the winter to get a break from 40 below, ice and snow. They’re sitting at a club in Perth, enjoying the sunshine and sipping on a cold drink. Two of the local lads see them and one says “Hey, why don’t you ask those pretty ladies over to join us?”

“My pleasure!” Hos buddy says and walks over to them saying, “G’day, ladies, haven’t seen you around here before, where are you from?”

One of the women looks up with a big smile and proudly says “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan!”

He looks at them, blinks a couple of times and walks away.

He goes back to his buddy who says “Are the ladies coming over, or should we join them over there?”

His friend replies “Nah. They don’t speak any English.”

On the sixth day, God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said,
“Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty.

It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon.”

God continued, “I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.”

“But Lord,” asked Gabriel, “don’t you think you are being too generous to these Canadians??”

“Not really,” replied God. “Just wait and see the winters I am going to give them!”

A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident. The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye.

Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye. The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him up.

While at the bar, he’s still just sitting there looking depressed, not really talking. One of his friends suggests he tries to talk to a cute girl who seems alone at the bar. “No, she’ll never go for a man with a wooden eye,” the man says.

“Okay, how about that girl over there?” His friend responds. “She has a really big nose”. The man walks over to the girl and asks, “Would you like to dance?”

Very excited, and shocked, to be asked to dance by such an attractive man, the woman responses

“Would, I?!

Would I?!”

To which the man quickly responds “Big nose! Big nose!”