Ruth took her boyfriend Bernie home to meet her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bloom.

“What do you do for a living?” asked Mr. Bloom. “I own some property,” replied Bernie.

“Some property!” exclaimed Ruth. “He owns a chain of fast-rising retail stores.”

“And where do you live?” asked Mrs. Bloom.

“I’ve got an apartment in town.”

“An apartment!” cried Ruth. “He has a luxury apartment in the most sought-after block in Manhattan.”

“And what are your prospects?” inquired Mr. Bloom.

“I’m hoping to expand!” said Bernie. “Expand!” interrupted Ruth. “He’s planning to buy Bloomingdale’s!”

Just then Bernie sneezed.

“Have you got a cold?” asked Mrs. Bloom. “A cold?” shrieked Ruth.

“Bernie’s got pneumonia!”

A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink.

“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar.” He replies. “A Torah scholar.

Hmmm,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she s accustomed to?”

“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?”

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don`t worry, sir, God will provide.”

Like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, Honey?”

The father answer, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I`m God.”