The teacher asked the children in the Sunday School class,

“If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?”

“NO!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into Heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “NO!”

“Well,” the teacher continued, “then how can I get to Heaven?”

…

.. .

In the back of the room, a 5 year old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead.”

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Our Jay, a Japanese and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else,they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.

The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and our Jay took the door. After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese “I`m confused, why did you bring the radiator?”

The Japanese responded, “If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid.”

Next our Jay asked the Britisher “Why did you bring the seat?”

So the Britisher said “If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat.”

Finally the Japanese asked our Hero why he had chosen the door.

Jay quickly responded to this question, “Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window.”

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Three friends were backpacking through europe and found out about a magical mountain near the coast, so they decided to check it out. When they finally reached the top of the mountain they saw a man jump straight off the edge and screamed that he wanted to be an eagle then poof he turned into an eagle and flew away. After seeing that the three friends got really excited and decided to go for it.

The first thought for a second and then dashed straight off and yelled “I want to be a hawk” then poof he turned into a hawk and flew away. The second friend thought for a second and finally decided and jumped off and yelled “I want to be a a mountain goat” then poof he turned into a mountain goat and ran away. The third friend thought about for a long while and then finally decided, he ran as fast as he could ready to jump but then slipped on loose rocks and fell off the yelling “ohh crrraaappp” SPLAT!