Jay was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview. Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person.

He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.

The next day the first applicant was called in. The president posed the question, “What is the fastest thing in the world?”

He thought for a moment and replied, “That would have to be a thought.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the president. “Well, a thought takes no time at all…it is in your mind in an instant, then gone again.”

“Ahh, very good.

Thank you,” replied the president. Next the same question was posed to the second person. “What is the fastest thing in the world?”

She paused and replied, “That would have to be a blink.”

“Why?” asked the president.

“Because you don`t even think about a blink, it`s just a reflex. You do it in an instant.”

The president thanked him. He then called in the next applicant and asked the same question.

After hesitating for a brief moment, he replied, “I would have to say electricity.”

“Why?”

“Because a man can flip a switch, and immediately, three miles away a light will go on.”

“I see, very good,” replied the president. Now it was the turn of our Jay. So he was called in and the President posed the question.

“What is the fastest thing in the world?”

“That`s easy…” he replied, “that would have to be diarrhoea!”

Rather stunned, the president asked, “Why do you say that?”

“Well, last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps….. and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS……”

In order to pay his medical school tuition,
a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat.

One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, “God save me! It’s the butcher!”