Civil Servant
A civil servant is badly hurt, after falling down the stairs at city hall. He is taken to the hospital where he remains in a coma for several days. Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him, “My friend, I have bad news and I have good news.

First of all, you’ll never be able to work again.”

“Okay,” muttered the injured bureaucrat. “What’s the bad news?”

A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked.

“What’s wrong with lawyers?”

“Well, Dad,” explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd and shout frantically, ‘Is there a lawyer in the house?’”

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car,
and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden, an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed.

Because he knew that no matter how much a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a policeman came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. “MY BMW’S DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” he exclaimed.

“You’re a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman. “Yes, I am. But what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.

“HA!” the policeman replied. “You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about are your possessions.

I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed: “MY ROLEX!!”