A very drunk man
turns up at his house at 6 o’clock in the morning with his hair and clothes dishevelled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, “I hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!”

“Yes,” replied the man, “I’d like some breakfast!”

Fishing Drunk. A drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it.

As he does so, a loud voice from above says, “There are no fish down there.”

So the drunk fisherman walks several yards away and drills another hole. As he peers into it he again hears a voice say, “There’s no fish down there.”
So he walks about 20 yards away and drills another hole. Once again the voice says, “There’s no fish down there.”

The fisherman looks up to the sky and asks, “God, is that you?”
“No, you idiot,” says the voice.

“It’s the rink manager.”