My sister understands everything! A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather’s farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister.

He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream.

He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chewing down on a plate of fried chicken. “What is it?” he asked.

The sister turned to him in fear and said,” It- it’s- IT’S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!”

Mary was having a tough day
and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, “Nobody loves me…the whole world hates me!”

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word…

“That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you.”

The chief of staff of the US Air Force
decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting the country’s armed services.

So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 fighter jet, a pair of twin brothers walked up to them. The chief of staff stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man looked at him and said, “I’m a pilot.”

The general got all excited, turned to his aide and said, “Get him in today, all the paperwork done, everything, do it!” The aide hustled the young man off. The general looked at the second young man and asked, “What skills can you bring to the Air Force?”

The young man said, “I chop wood.”

“Son,” the general replied, “we don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, this is the 20th century!”

“Well,” the young man said, “you hired my brother!”

“Of course, we did,” said the general, “he’s a pilot!”

The young man rolled his eyes and said,

“You’re not getting it. I have to chop it before he can pile it!”

“Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?”
“Because I helped her.”

“But that is a good thing!

What did you help her with?”

“I helped her eat her gummy bears.”