Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, “Could you pass me the honey?…Honey.”

Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, “Could you pass me the sugar?…Sugar.”

So now, the third guy is under pressure. He has to come up with something good.

After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, “Pass me the pork…pig.”

After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. “About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?”

“Neither,” she said. “It’s a fish.”

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror.

But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.

“I think I’m the smartest woman on earth.” “POOF!” She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. “I think I’m the prettiest woman on earth.” “POOF!” She disappears.

The blonde goes up. “I think…”

“POOF!”

A retired couple had dinner at their friends’ house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went to the kitchen. The two men were talking and one said, “We’ve been going to a new restaurant and it’s really great.

I’d recommend it very highly.”

The other man asked, “What’s the name of the place?”

The first man thought awhile and finally said, “What are those flowers you send a woman you love? The ones with red petals and thorns?”

“You must mean roses,” he replied. “That’s it,” said the man.

He yelled to his wife, “Rose, what’s the name of the restaurant we like?”

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. She was still feeling bloated from lunch, so she was fearful of farting in front of her date, who hadn’t arrived yet. It wasn’t long before she actually did let one out, but she managed to cover up the sound with a fake cough.

She continued waiting for her date to arrive, but wanted to make sure everything was perfect. As she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands “Stop that!”

The waiter looks at her dryly and says

“Certainly, madam.

Which way was it headed?”