A patrol officer noticed something strange on his route—crisp $50 bills scattered along the sidewalk, leading straight into a narrow alley. Curious, he followed the trail and spotted an elderly woman dragging two trash bags, one of them slowly spilling cash. Ma’am,” he said, “you might want to know one of your bags is leaking.”

“Oh goodness, thank you!” she replied sweetly.

Still baffled, the officer asked, “If you don’t mind me asking… where is all this money coming from?”

“Well,” she said, “I live next to a very busy bar. And every night, drunk men use my garden as their personal restroom.”

She sighed. “Last night I finally had enough.

I waited outside with my pruning shears. Whenever someone started, I simply said, ‘Fifty dollars… or I trim more than the roses.’”

The officer burst out laughing and waved her on. As she walked away, he called out, “So… is the other bag full of money too?”She smiled calmly.

“Not everyone believes in paying fines.”

A Little Old Lady Tried To Phone Her Local Bank. A little old lady tried to phone her local bank but was sent to the bank call center instead. “Is that the High Street branch?” she asked.

“No, madam,” replied the voice at the other end. “It is now company policy to deal with telephone calls centrally.”

“Well, I really have to talk to the branch,” said the old lady. “Madam, if you just let me know your query, I’m sure I can help you.”

“I don’t think you can, young man.

I need to speak to the branch.”

The call center operator was adamant. “There’s nothing that the branch can help you with that can’t be dealt with by me.”

“Very well then,” sighed the old lady. “Can you just check on the counter?

Did I leave my gloves behind when I came in this morning?”