Once we choose to become parents, we also accept the responsibility that comes with it. Parenting is rewarding but can also be tiring, overwhelming, and full of challenges. Many new parents quietly hope their own parents will step in to help—but that support isn’t always guaranteed.

A recent story on Reddit stirred a big debate online.

A woman asked her 64-year-old mother—who has been a stay-at-home mom since 1992—to care for her newborn so she could return to work. But the grandmother declined, saying she had already raised her children and now wanted to enjoy her own time.

She even suggested the couple try living more traditionally, with one parent staying home. The daughter explained that wasn’t possible since she was the higher earner, and stepping away from her career wasn’t an option.

Still, her mom stood firm—she would only babysit for $20 an hour, plus late fees, and only if the couple provided duplicates of everything the baby needed.

This left the daughter considering daycare instead, even though it wasn’t her first choice. The story quickly went viral, with thousands weighing in. Some empathized with the daughter’s struggle to balance finances and childcare, while others defended the grandmother’s right to enjoy her retirement years.

The discussion revealed just how complex parenting and family expectations can be—and how sometimes, love and support take different forms than we might hope.