A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the driver’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it.

The second one drank his coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn’t say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”

“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied.

“He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles.”

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A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes? Husband: Never noticed. Sergeant: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown. Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly. Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck. Sergeant: What kind of truck was it? Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L 1/6 engine special ordered with manual transmission.

It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch.

DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door.

At this point the husband started choking up. Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.