After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name,
my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out. “A for apple,” he began. “P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—”

The flustered agent interrupted.

“I have a better idea,” she said. “Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples.”

Little Johnny wasn’t a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word “new” on the blackboard.

“Now,” she asked Johnny, “what word would we have if we placed a “K” in the front?”

After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, “Canoe?”

Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa,
I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel receptionist’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered. “We have over 300 guests at at this facility,” she said.

“Does this ‘Jim’ have a last name?”

Jake came rushing in to his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”

“That’s what they say”, said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick?

I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”

Customers are so innocent! Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700-2300 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries; can you help?”

Operator: “Where did you get the number from, sir?”

Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Centre”. Operator: “Sir, they are our opening and closing hours.”

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.”

But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.

At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the lady said, “Pardon?”