A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an “away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.

“We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it’s doing by listening for it. They’re pretty good at it too.”

“Very clever!” remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, “Hey!

Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?”

“Yes,” says the teacher, stung by the way “his” kids are being referred to, “what about it? You got something against blind kids?”

“Nothing, ordinarily,” says the guy, still scowling out the window, “but you better get them rounded up quick! They’re kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!”

A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game,
looked at his star player and said: “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.

So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then he answered: “I think… no… yes… I’m not sure… what about 4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

“I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.”
“Well, wouldn’t you look silly riding a cow?”

“I’d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!”

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.

Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. “This,” he said, showing him a rope, “is a lariat. We use it to catch cows.”

“I see,” said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat.

“And what do you use for bait?”