Bob walks into a bar and sits next to a man who has a dog next to him. He says to the man, “Has your dog ever bitten anyone?”

The man replies, “No” but then the dog jumps up and bites Bob on the arm. “I thought you said your dog’s never bitten anyone!” shouts Bob.

…

.. . The man says, “I know.

That’s not my dog.”
======

Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.

First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me. =========

A man went to his lawyer and told him,

“My neighbour owes me $500 and he won’t pay up.

What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer.

“But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”