The man pulled over to the side of the road when he saw the police lights in his rear view mirror. “How long have you been riding around without a tail light?” asked the officer. “Oh, no!” screamed the man, jumping out of the car.

“Calm down, it isn’t that serious.” said the officer. “Wait’ll my family finds out.”

“Where’s your family?”

“They’re in the trailer that was hitched to the car!”

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman,
“Can I park here?”

“No,” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?”

“They didn’t ask!”

Two police officers stopped a guy for speeding on the province highway in Mississauga, Ontario.

As they were writing up the ticket, one oficer turned to the other and said: “How do you spell Mississauga?”

The other one replied: “I don’t know.”

So the first one said: “Well what are we going to do? If we spell it wrong, it will get dismissed.”

The second oficer said: “Why don’t we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Toronto?”

A policeman stops two drunks and asks one, “Where do you live?”
“Nowhere”, the first drunk replied. “And where do you live?”, he asks the other.

“We’re neighbours.”

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.”

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.”

They began to argue when they come upon another drunk.

They asked, “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?”

The third drunk looked at the sky and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.”