A little boy boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,” he said. His mother asked, “What was the question?”

“Where’s Portugal.”

“The idiot teacher, I’m going to call the principal’s office.

In the meantime, we’re going to find where Portugal is.”

She gets a map of the state and can’t find Portugal. Then she gets a map of the region and still can’t find Portugal. She gets a map of the city and can’t find Portugal.

“I swear Portugal can’t be far. …

.. .

The maid is from Portugal and she comes here to work every day on her bicycle.”

================================

A young woman walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini’s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman. “Can I have the red one?” – a top of the range Porsche.

“I’ll pay cash!” and starts taking handfuls of cash out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price. The deal is finalised very quickly and the girl drives it away. She is back 2 days later, “I want my money back… it smell awfully bad when I use the brakes,” she states emphatically.

Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books) the manager decides to ride in the car with her… in case she is not driving it properly. He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate. 120mph into 4th gear; 5th at 145mph.

The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the bonnet when it reaches 170mph. The scenery is a green blur the G-force has him pinned in the seat. In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!) instead the pitch of the engine increases.

100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier. “Can you smell it?” she says. “SMELL IT?

I’M SITTING IN IT!”