A little boy is at a birthday party with his mother and ten minutes into the party the little boy has to pee. Naturally, he calls for his mother. Once he spotted her across the room he yelled, “Mommy, I have to pee!”
The mother, embarrassed, takes the boy to the bathroom and locks the door.
She turns to the boy and says, “You can’t be yelling across rooms that you need to pee. It’s very rude. How about we have our own codeword?
Instead of screaming ‘I have to pee’ you say ‘I have to whisper’ and then nobody will know!”
The boy agrees, finishes his business, and rejoins his friends for the rest of the party. The next night, the boy is staying over at his grandfather’s place. He wakes up in the middle of the night and he has to pee.
He goes into his grandpa’s room and wakes him up. Gently the boy says, “Grandpa, I have to whisper.”
The confused grandfather answers, “Not right now, you can whisper in the morning”. The boy starts to squirm, “But grandpa, I really need to whisper”.
Not wanting to get out of bed, his grandfather says, “I said not right now, I’ll whisper all you want in the morning”. The boy started to dance, “But grandpa I reeeaally need to whisper”. “Well alright then,” the grandfather said, “whisper very quietly, into your grandpa’s ear”.
My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, “No.”
I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?”
“No,” he replied. I just knew that he must have, because the smell was getting worse.
Sooooo…. I asked one more time, “Matt, did you have an accident?”
Matt jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled…. “SEE, MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!!”
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened.
I was mortified! Some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!! Another old gentleman stopped us in the parking lot as we were leaving, bent over to my son and said:
“Don’t worry son, my wife accuses me of the same thing all the time… I just never had the nerve to make the point like you did.”
