A wise old farmer went to town to buy a new pickup truck that he saw advertised in the newspaper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck they wanted, they set down to do the paperwork. The salesman handed the bill to the farmer, and the farmer declared, “This is not the price I saw!”

The salesman went on to tell the wise old farmer how he was getting extras such as power brakes, power windows, power steering, special tires, etc,.

And that was what took the price up. The farmer, who urgently needed the truck, paid the price and went home. A few months later, the salesman phoned the farmer and said, “My son is in 4-H and needs a cow for a project.

Do you have any to sell? ”

The farmer replied, “Yes, I have a few cows that I would sell for $500 a piece. Come see them and take your choice.

”

The salesman said he and his son would be there in a moment. After spending a few hours in the field checking out all of the farmer’s cows, the two decided to pick one, and the salesman proceeded to write out a check for $500. The farmer said, “Now wait, that’s not the final price of the cow.

You are getting extras with it, and you have to pay them too.”

“What extras?” asked the salesman. Below is the list the farmer gave the salesman for the final price of the cow:

BASIC COW – $500.00

Two-tone exterior – $45.00

Extra stomach – $75.00

Product storing equipment – $60.00

Straw compartment – $120.00

4 spigots @$10 each – $40.00

Leather upholstery – $125.00

Dual horns – $45.00

Automatic fly swatter – $38.00

Fertilizer attachment – $185.00

Grand Total – $1,233.00

An Old Cowboy Gets 3 Wishes

A modern-day old cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water. He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last when he suddenly sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls towards the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks like an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She wears an AUSTRALIAN TAXATION OFFICE badge and a dull grey dress. There is a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

“Well, old cowboy,” said the genie… “You know how I work. You have three wishes.”

“I’m not falling for this”, says the old man. “I’m not going to trust an ATO auditor genie.”

“What do you have to lose?

You have no transportation and it looks like you are a goner anyway!”

The old man thinks about this for a minute and decides the genie is right. Shazam! “OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with lots of food and drink.”

Shazam!

The old cowboy is in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, surrounded by jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. OK, old boy, what’s your second wish?”

“My second wish is for me to be rich beyond my wildest dreams.”

Shazam! The old man is surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

“Okay, cowpuncher, you just have one wish. Better make it a good one!”

After a few minutes of thinking, the man says. “I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.”

Shazam!

He is turned into a t-a.mpon. Moral of the story

If the government offers you anything, there’s going to be a string attached.